Less is More

A few months ago while studying abroad in Australia, a friend of mine found herself engaged in a scintilating conversation with a guy she'd met in a bar. At some point after the ceremonial phone number exchange but just before she headed home, the man casually referenced his wife. Apparently, for the aforementioned Australian, holy matrimony was not an obstacle to picking up girls in bars, nor he allow it to stop him from texting my friend for several months. Another friend, studying in Bologna, discovered several weeks after she'd been dating an Italian that he had been in a serious relationship for the past three years. As more stories like these surface, one has to wonder about the current attitude toward monogamy. Has the proverbial search for a soulmate become obsolete?

Biologically speaking, monogamy makes very little sense. The average man has the theoretical ability to produce literally hundres of children, whereas the average woman has a much smaller reproductive capacity. Humans, along with some species of birds, and some other primates, are on a rather short list of monogamous animals. Even among humans, there are many cultures that do not practice monogamy. It has been, and remains, a largely Occidental concept.

But even in the so-called "Western" world, true monogamy appears to be losing ground. With the onset of the "hook-up" culture, even formal dating seems to be on the decline. Many just don't see the appeal of committing to one person.

Maybe monogamy only existed because it was encultrated at some point into Occidental society, but that doesn't diminish its value. Be it a blessing or a curse, humans are highly emotional beings, and even the most hard-hearted players and most skittish committment-phobes must admit that from an emotional standpoint, monogamy is at the very least a nice concept. Having an exclusive connection with someone without the stress and insecurity that comes with playing the proverbial game certainly contributes positively to emotional health.

I don't see monogamy as a moral high ground; sometimes fooling around just works. But perhaps the utter rejection of committment isn't desirable in the long run. There must be a reason monogamy has been so prevalant for so many years, and I think we should give it some thought before we kiss it goodbye as we did romance and chivalry.